May I Have Your Autograph?
by SophiaCrutchfeild
Summary: Transcendence AU. A run-of-the-mill summons leads to a strange encounter, leaving Dipper/Alcor very weirded out.
1. Xanthene

Author's Note- Transcendence AU is awesome! One-shot for now, but that's liable to change!

Dipper groaned as he felt another summons. How many had it been today? Twenty? Thirty? A lot, anyway.

"Gotta take this," he muttered.

"Ok, let's get this over with," he muttered to the summoner, not even looking to see who it was. "Who dares summon the great and powerful Alcor, etc. etc. you know the rest?"

"Really? Alcor? Isn't there supposed to be some kind of scary yelling and fire or something?"

Dipper looked down to see a girl about his own age, 14, with folded arms and one eyebrow raised.

"Look, I'm tired, okay? Now what do you want?" Dipper asked.

"I want your autograph," the girl says. "I'll give you some cookies I made earlier for payment. They're blue, and shaped like pine trees, and they're vanilla. So do we have a deal or what?"

Dipper raised an eyebrow. "You seem very at ease talking to a demon."

"Right," the girl said. "That's because I used to spend summers in Gravity Falls, so I saw some weird stuff. I'm basically cool with it."

"And you want my autograph," Dipper confirmed.

"Yeah, you're a totally rocking demon and a kick-ass hero," the girl stated. "I mean, you totally rock, and you're way hotter than any dumb boy-band. So yeah, I want your autograph."

This seemed like a pretty strange statement to Dipper. "I'm not a hero," was all he said.

"Right… because saving the world from a psychotic yellow triangle _totally _isn't being a hero."

_Psychotic yellow…_ "How the #### do you know about that?"

"Oh I know lots of things!" the girl said cheerfully. "Lots of things!"

Dipper was officially weirded out. This was getting way too strange, even for him. The girl then pulled out her cell phone, and pulled up a picture of… well, it looked like a cartoon version of him and Mabel at age 12. It had the words "Gravity Falls" written across the top, and he was even holding a cartoon version of Journal 3.

"For example, I know that your real name is Dipper Pines and you're my age. You have a twin sister named Mabel. You used to have a crush on Wendy Corduroy… is that still going on, by the way? Because I ship it. Um, you once stayed outside and let a wolf chew on your leg rather than go inside to Mabel's slumber party, and-"

"Stop! Just, stop!" Dipper said, now alarmed.

"Anyway, that went way off-topic… do we have a deal or not?" asked the girl. Dipper just nodded, and manifested a pen. The girl pulled out a notebook and held it out for him to sign. "I'm Xanthene Aspen, by the way."

"Okay," Dipper said. On the notebook he wrote:

_Dear Xanthene,_

_You are extremely creepy, and that's coming from an all-powerful demon._

_-Alcor_

Reading this, Xanthine laughed. "Nice one," she giggled. Then, she handed Dipper a basket of blue pine-tree cookies. "Until next time!"

"Bye," Dipper said, leaving the summoning circle very quickly.

Later, Dipper thought about the stuff Xanthene had said. _Interesting girl, _he thought. _Kind of creepy, but… interesting._


	2. The Show

Author's Note- Ok, I like his story way too much to leave it be. If this bit sucks, then I'll delete it, so tell me! Ok, here we go…

It was two weeks later when Dipper saw Xanthene again.

She summoned him with a huge grin on her face, and told him that she wanted to show him something. He basically told her that she was way too creepy for him to want to hang out with.

"Wow. I scare demons? Nice," she cackled. That's the only way to put it. It wasn't a laugh, or a giggle, or even a snort, it was a full-blown witch's cackle.

"Not… scare, necessarily, just… unnerve," he corrected.

"Still," Xanthene smiled, a rather pretty smile, Dipper thought. "It's cool to know that I can unnerve Alcor… although, I guess I have a bit of an unfair advantage. That's what I want to show you."

She held out left hand, tucking a strand of long blond hair behind her ear with her right. Dipper was very glad she couldn't see his face heat up in his demonic form. Wait, why was his face heating up? So she had a nice smile, she still wasn't pretty altogether. The almost white hair, the buggish black eyes, the gangly, skinny form… she wasn't his type at all. He liked athletic girls, with red or brown hair and eyes with actual color. Xanthene was a weird girl who freaked him out.

So why was he blushing?

"Are you going to shake my hand or not?" Xanthene finally asked.

"Right, um, yeah," Dipper said, shaking her hand. "Sorry."

Xanthene pulled a Snickers bar out of her pocket. "I hear you like these?" she asked. "So I got you this for corporeality. I mean, I've never liked them much myself, but to each his own."

Dipper took the candy bar, going corporeal. "How could you not like Snickers?" he asked. "I mean, all candy is good candy, but Snickers are by far the best."

"I don't like nuts. Anyway, Dum-Dums Lollipops are the best!" she countered.

"I would think you would love nuts," Dipper said. "After all, you kind of are one."

"Oh please, Mr. I'm-going-to-bring-a-video-game-character-to-life-to-beat-up-my-arch-nemisis," Xanthene sneered. "Or how about, Mr. Time-to-borrow-a-time-machine-so-I-can-use-it-a-million-times-to-throw-a-baseball."

"And you know all of these personal stories from my life how?" Dipper asked.

"I'm about to show you," Xanthene said, gesturing to her computer. She sat down at her desk and typed the letter "G" into the search bar. _Gravity Falls Tourist Trapped Full Episode _appeared instantly, and she clicked on the link.

Dipper was shocked as his own voice spoke, "Ah, summer, a time for leisure, relaxation, and takin' 'er easy… unless you're me."

As the video played, Dipper watched his first day in Gravity Falls unfold, in cartoon format. S the video ended, he turned toward Xanthene, who was smiling smugly.

"WHAT THE #### WAS THAT?" he shouted.

"My source," Xanthene said, her smile growing wider. "I know every detail of your summer, up to the day of the Woodstick concert. That was the latest episode."

"Holy ####," Dipper muttered. "I… need to go… stare at a wall for a little while."

"See you soon?" Xanthene asked, hopefully.

"Yeah, sure…" Dipper muttered, and with that, he vanished.


	3. Lovely Horror

Author's Note: You people are the most awesome in the world! If I could send you all personal thank-you notes from Hallmark or something, I would! Unfortunately, that would be highly dangerous and expensive!

Hearts and Skulls,

Sophia

A few days later, Dipper felt the now recognizable, if not yet familiar, sense of Xanthene's summons.

"Hey, Xanthene," he said, not bothering to go all flames-and-horror.

"Hey Dipper. Or is Alcor still preferable?" she asked, showing nervousness for the first time.

"Nah, Dipper's fine," he said without thinking. Xanthene positively beamed.

"Okay, awesome! I can't believe that I'm on a first-name basis with you," she laughed. Not a cackle this time, but more of an amazed laugh.

Dipper decided that it was a nice laugh. Sure, Xanthene was weird, creepy, and so not his type, but he could appreciate her laugh, right?

Then, there was a knock at the door.

"Hey, Eileen, open up!" yelled a male voice.

Xanthene's already anemic face paled.

"Open up before I break the door down!"

Xanthene glanced at Dipper and mouthed the word, "Hide," before opening he door. Dipper turned himself and the summoning circle invisible as a tall, blond boy, maybe seventeen or eighteen, was revealed.

"My name isn't Eileen," Xanthene said.

"You think I care? My mom's the charity-o-holic, not me," the boy said dryly. "I just want you gone."

"Wow, don't bottle it up, tell us how you really feel," Xanthene muttered.

The boy's eyes widened. "What…did…you…just…say?"

Xanthene cowered. "Um, I was just…"

"Oh, I know what you were doing. You were talking back to me, and that, _Eileen_, is where you went wrong." He took a step forward. "You _never_ talk back to me, _Eileen._"

Xanthene raised her arms to protect her face, and then, all hell broke loose.

"YOU ####ING B*ST*RD! YOU _NEVER_ HIT A GIRL, YOU IMBECILE, ESPECIALLY ONE SMALLER THAN YOU! YOU _PARTICULARLY_ NEVER HIT A GIRL UNDER THE PROTECTION OF ALCOR THE DREAMBENDER! AND MOST IMPORTANT OF ALL, YOU NEVER MESS WITH SOMEONE- _ANYONE-_ WHO IS UNDER THE PROTECTION OF DIPPER PINES!"

Fire burned throughout the room, and the boy was looking significantly worse for the wear, when a man and a woman who appeared to be in their late 30's showed up, looking terrified. Dipper calmed himself down slowly, and went back to his more normal demon form.

"Why did you come up here?" he asked the boy. "Remember that I will know if you lie."

"To tell Eil-" he paled as Dipper's eyes glowed. "I mean, Xanthene! I came to tell Xanthene that it was time for dinner!"

"Then why didn't you?" Dipper asked, anger seething just below the surface.

"I- I-"

"You wanted to mess with her? TELL THE TRUTH!"

"Yes!" the boy began crying. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, please don't kill me!"

Dipper lowered the boy to the ground. "You're lucky," he said. "Consider this a warning. Next time you hit her, or are even remotely unkind to her, I won't be so generous."

"Dipper," Xanthene whispered, sounding shocked.

He smiled at her. "You're okay, right?"

She nodded. "Please don't kill him," she asked worriedly. Dipper nodded.

"I won't. I'm sorry if I scared you… I'll go now," he muttered, sounding embarrassed. He snapped his fingered, and everything went back to normal. Then he disappeared in a flash of blue light, leaving Xanthene with a scared boy and his equally terrified parents, in a room that was now the most beautiful in the entire county.


	4. Mabel's Expertise

Author's Note: This is so much fun to write! I really hope you guys like it!

Also, this chapter more than hints at DxX, so if you want me to stop, tell me!

Dipper didn't feel Xanthene call him again for another month.

"Why are you obsessing over this?" Mabel asked.

"I don't know… I just miss her, and I'm worried that she thinks I'm psychotic now. I mean, I technically I am, but _she_ wasn't supposed to know!" Dipper explained.

Mabel looked at me for a second. Then she burst out laughing. "Oh man, this, this is too good to be true!" she gasped for air.

"Sorry?"

"I don't know why I didn't see it before! And to think that I call myself a romance expert," she groaned. He didn't see what she was getting at.

"Um, Mabel? What does any of this have to do with you being a romance expert?"

She gave me a blank look. "Really? Did you accidentally hit the reverse switch on that all-smartness demon stuff?"

"Omniscience," he corrected.

"Do I look like I care what it's called? The point is, _you're in love with Xanthene!"_

"What? No I'm not! She isn't my type, and I've met her all of three times!" Dipper shook his head.

"Okay, here's a surefire test for weather you like her or not," Mabel grinned. "Close your eyes and picture this."

"This is a bad idea," he remarked dourly. "Dream demon, remember?"

"Oh, you know that you can control that," she smirked. "Whatever. Okay, describe her hair for me, in as much detail as you can."

"What? I haven't seen her in a month!"

"_Do it now!"_

"Okay, okay! Um, Her hair reaches her waist, and it's the color of a flashlight beam on a white paper. There's a slight curl to it, but there's so much of it that the weight mostly straightens it out. It's tangled, like she doesn't brush it very much, and kind of dirty. I mean, she's generally clean, but it's like she doesn't use shampoo or something. She wears it back in a long braid sometimes… I've seen it in the braid the first two times, and loose the third… She wears a hoodie over it, or at least, she has the three times I've seen her. Dark colors, you wouldn't like them, and they're too big for her. Paired with old blue jeans, the same pair every time. Um, is that good enough?"

Mable was beaming. "Yep, you're in love!"

Dipper was astonished. "I am?"

"You could have just said, 'Long, blond, and kind of dirty,' but you went into so much detail that I even know how she dresses! You were even poetic, describing the color."

"I was?"

"I quote, 'the color of a flashlight beam on white paper," she smiled.

Dipper rolled his eyes. "That's hardly poetry."

"You're lying to yourself, bro-bro," Mabel said. "You need to talk to her. You can always send her a message, or something, that you want her to summon you."

Dipper looked at Mabel. "Maybe I will… but this doesn't mean I like her, you hear me?"

Mabel just smiled knowingly.


	5. Mabel Forces Dipper to Confess

Author's Note: Okay. Yes, I am aware of the "canons" in this au. I would like to point out a few things.

I ship MaBill, and nobody complains about _that._

It is an _au._ Nothing is actually canon.

Nobody has ever met a demon. Who really knows what they can and cannot do?

Yes, I just got annoyed and wasted everyone's time. If you want to flame something, then flame this rant.

So, now, on with the story.

Dipper glared at Mabel as she pulled him along. She had tricked him into turning corporeal, and agreeing to "hang out" with her.

"I really should have known this would happen," he groaned. "You never just let things go, do you?"

"Nope, not really," Mabel smiled. "So which house is hers?"

"I'm not going to tell you! I don't think she wants to see me!" Dipper exclaimed. "Even if she did, how creepy would it be for me to just show up on her doorstep with my twin sister, who says something like 'My demon brother has a crush on you' or whatever?"

Mabel smiled. "Guess I just have to start ringing random doorbells, then!"

"Will you please not?"

"Tell me which house is hers. It will save you a lot of embarrassment."

"She might have moved," Dipper pointed out. "She's a foster kid, remember?"

"You're omniscient, Dipper…"

Dipper realized that he was not getting out of this. Nothing was stronger than the power of Mabel.

"It's the yellow one," he said, pointing.

Mabel beamed, and lugged him over to the door. She cheerfully rang the doorbell.

A smiling woman answered. "Hi, and who might you be?"

"We're friends of Xanthene," Mabel said cheerfully. "Well, my brother might want a little more than friendship, if you know what I mean…" She winked and Dipper elbowed her.

"Mabel, please don't say things like that," Dipper muttered through a forced smile.

The woman looked at Dipper and went white as a sheet. "It's you… oh, god, I'm sorry! Whatever Daniel did, he won't do it again, please, please don't hurt him!"

"Relax lady, Dip-dot here just wants to hang with Xanthene. Trust me, if he was looking for revenge, there would be blue flames everywhere by now," Mabel laughed. "So, where is she? I want to see flashlight-beam-hair-girl."

Dipper hit Mabel on the arm. "_Mabel!"_ he hissed.

The woman looked relieved. "Oh," she sighed. "Oh, yes. Xanthene is upstairs. Please, come in."

Dipper muttered something about, "She's going to be so pissed at me," as they climbed the stairs.

"Xanthene? Alcor and a friend are here to see you," the woman said, knocking on a beautiful wooden door- Alcor's work.

"What?!"

The door swung open to reveal a much nicer-looking Xanthene. Her long hair was clean, and in curls, she was wearing a cyan tee shirt and new blue jeans, and she was less death-skinny and more athletic-skinny.

"Wow, you're right, Dip-dot, she _is_ pretty!"

"Mabel Pines?" she asked.

"The one and only! Has Alcor mentioned me?" Mabel asked.

Dipper glanced at Mabel. "Right, I should have told you. She knows almost everything about us. Apparently, some guy named Alex Hirsch was watching us, back in 2012, and made a television show."

"Um, come on in, I guess," Xanthene said, still a bit shell-shocked.

As the door closed behind them, Xanthene turned toward Dipper.

"Um, why are you here?" she asked.

"Mabel thinks I have a crush on you. Can we leave now?" Dipper asked, turning toward Mabel.

"Nope! Not until we hear what Xanthene has to say!" Mabel smiled. "Look, girl-to-girl here, he's got it bad for you. Date him!"

Xanthene turned very red. "Um, well… I mean, uh… I um, did say that I thought you were hot, and a total hero. I don't think there is a girl on Earth who wouldn't like you."

Dipper was very alarmed by this.

"Um… um… I need to think about this," he muttered, and with that, he disappeared.


	6. First Well, you'll see )

Author's Note: I made a promise, and I can't back out. Please excuse the badness of this.

Dipper felt the now-familiar summons calling him the next day.

"Hey Xanthene," he said. "What's up?"

"I have a pamphlet. It's about you. Door-to-door cultists are handing them out," Xanthene said, handling Dipper a pamphlet. The words, "HAVE YOU ACCEPTED ALCOR AS YOUR PERSONAL OVERLORD AND DESTROYER?" were written across the top.

"Wait, seriously?" Dipper laughed. "This is just getting sad. I mean, door-to-door cultists? Really?"

"Yep," Xanthene smirked. "Blue hooded robes and all, they just showed up at my door talking about accepting Alcor- I mean, you. I basically told them that you're a friend of mine, and you are fourteen years old."

"You shouldn't give out information like that," Dipper said. "Cults put that kind of information to good use."

"I doubt they took me seriously," Xanthene pointed out. "One of the perks of being blond is that you can literally never spill a secret- nobody takes you seriously."

"That's not true," Dipper said immediately. "You're smart, and you know a lot of stuff that nobody else has figured out."

"Speaking of, was Mabel right? Are you into me?" Xanthene asked, sounding slightly tense.

"Well… I don't actually know," Dipper said honestly. "I mean, you're cute, and smart, and I definitely like you as a person, but romantically? I really don't know. I haven't actually had a crush on a girl since I was twelve."

"Well… can you go corporeal?" she asked, showing him a Snickers bar.

"Yeah," Dipper said, accepting the candy. He stepped out of the circle, looking basically human.

"That's good," Xanthene said. "Okay, just, don't hurt me…"

"What? I wouldn't! Why would I-"

She grabbed his shoulders and kissed him. Hard.

As she broke the kiss, blushing, she asked him, "So? Do you like me?"

"Yeah," Dipper said, breathless. "Yeah, I think I do."

"Good. Wow. That was my first kiss," Xanthene told him.

"Me too," Dipper admitted. "So, what do we do now?"

Xanthene looked at Dipper expectantly. "Well, we just kissed, and agreed that we're into each other. Isn't there something you're supposed to ask me now?"

Dipper looked blank. Then, understanding dawned. "Wanna go out with me?" he asked, conjuring up a bouquet.

"Yeah," Xanthene said, accepting the flowers. "Pretty much."

"Okay. Um, I could pick you up at eight, and take you to a movie or something?" he asked.

"Sounds perfect," she laughed. "Should I dress up?"

"Do you even own formal clothing?"

"Good point."

He snapped his fingers, and a blue wardrobe appeared. "Just choose some stuff from there- I got it from the closest dress-store-place, and I have no clue what's in there," he said grinning. "Don't worry, it's all paid for, and all your size."

Xanthene opened the wardrobe, and was met with a room full of ball gowns more fit for prom, or a Disney princess, than a normal movie date.

"See you in a few hours," she smiled, and with a sharp-toothed grin, Dipper vanished in a blur of blue fire.


	7. Date with a Demon

Author's Note: Okay, so… date time! Who's ready for costumes not fit for the occasion, and the most annoying foster-parent-check over of all time?

Dipper had stashed about nineteen Snicker's bars in his pockets for the date. He smiled, ringing the doorbell, and was greeted by… the woman from earlier, as well as her husband, both with crossed arms and… religious symbols.

(Twenty minutes earlier)

Xanthene was almost ready, twirling around her room in the dress she'd chosen, when Mrs. Abrams, her foster mom, came in.

"Going somewhere?" she asked, with a half smile.

"Alcor the Dream-bender asked _me_ to be his girlfriend! We have a date tonight, and he's picking me up in about twenty minutes!" Xanthene exclaimed. "I'm so excited for it- he's gave me all these dresses, and-"

"Hold up. Date? With a _demon_? You're fourteen!" Mrs. Abram said, alarm in her voice. "Okay, that is _it._ I think that we've been pretty lenient about the whole Alcor thing, but no. You are not going out at eight at night to mess around with a literal demon!"

"But, Mrs. Abrams, please!" Xanthene begged.

"No!"

"But, I-"

"I SAID NO!"

(Present)

Xanthene came down, dressed in a green ball gown that turned blue at the bottom (think Cinderella for style of the dress). Her hair fell around her face in curls, but was mostly done up elegantly. She wore jade-green gloves that matched the top par of her dress, and electric blue shoes that matched the bottom. The effect was, altogether, a new Disney Princess.

"Wow," Dipper said. "You look amazing."

"Where do you think you're going, young lady?" Mr. Abrams asked. "We said no!"

"Please, you have to let me go! It's my first date, and I really like him!" Xanthene begged.

"Please, Mr. and Mrs. Abrams please let her go! I swear, I won't do anything bad!" Dipper promised.

The two youths looked up at the foster parents with pleading eyes. The fact that one pair of eyes had black whites and yellow irises with no pupils lessened the effect, but it was stills enough to sway at least Mrs. Abrams.

"I guess… It couldn't hurt too much…"

"Are you joking?" Mr. Abrams asked.

"No," his wife said. "I mean, yes, he's a demon, but he's still fourteen, right? I mean, as long as he treats her well…"

"I'm outnumbered, aren't I?" Mr. Abrams asked. "Fine. Be back by ten, though, or you're grounded."

"Thank you, thank you, thank you!" Xanthene shrieked, hugging him.

"I'll have her home my ten, sir," Dipper promised excitedly.

"Wait where are you going?" Mrs. Abrams asked. "I mean, the ball gown, the tuxedo, what warrants those clothes?"

"We're going to the movies," Dipper explained. "There's a theater two blocks away!

On the walk to the theater, people stared. A lot.

"Everyone's looking at us," Xanthene told Dipper.

"No, everyone's looking at you. They're wondering who this princess is. Speaking of, which," he said, pulling a box out of his pocket.

Xanthene opened it. A silver tiara lay inside black lining, with sapphires forming the Ursa Major constellation. The tag read "For Alcor's Princess."

"It's beautiful," Xanthene beamed.

"I won't say what I'm thinking, because it is too cliché for words… but completely true," Dipper said, placing the tiara on Xanthene's head. Seeing what he was getting at, she blushed.

"Can it, Pines," she muttered. "And thanks for the crown."

"Any time," Dipper smiled. "Hey, I have an idea…" he snapped his fingers, and a blue and green limousine appeared. Dipper opened a door for her. "My princess," he said with a sharp-toothed grin. "Your limo awaits."

"Okay, now people are definitely staring," Xanthene flushed.

"Yep," Dipper said cheerfully. "Trust me, it stops being awkward and starts being fun really quickly.

_What did I get myself into?_ Xanthene wondered.


	8. Horror Movies Are Great!

Author's Note: You can yell at me as much as you want, because I deserve it. I'm so sorry for the radio silence on this. Here's a new chapter, I hope you like it.

The theater was a nice one, but it wasn't grandiose. The kid at the snack booth was staring wide-eyed at the couple in front of him, bedecked in finery more suitable for Prom night than a movie.

"Hey, um, a large popcorn, a cherry coke, and a water please?" Dipper asked politely.

"You're Alcor the Dreambender," the kid said.

"Yeah, and I'll make a deal, the snacks I ordered for the appointed price," Dipper sneered.

"That'll be $7.59," the kid said, getting the snacks. "Butter, salt, or plain?" he asked, holding up the popcorn.

"Salt?" Xanthene asked Dipper.

"Salt," Dipper agreed, passing a ten over the counter. "Keep the change."

"Thank you, and enjoy the movie," the kid said, still nervous.

The movie was a bloody horror film, something about a girl who was possessed by evil spirits that wanted to burn the world down, or something, and a cameraman who let some psycho scientists torture her. (A/N: Who can guess what movie I'm talking about? I'll give you a hint- everyone dies except the cameraman.)

Dipper didn't really watch. He was more focused on the girl next to him, and all the people looking at them. He figured that once people figured out that he was Alcor, it would make every headline, but for now he just glared at any teenage boy who dared to look at Xanthene.

As the movie ended, she looked over at him and grinned, seeing his gaze. "Did you enjoy the movie?" she asked. "It kind of hit close to home, didn't it?"

"What? I've never possessed anyone!" Dipper said defensively.

"I meant Bill Cipher. The Sock Opera? Remember?"

Dipper felt a chill run down his spine. "Right. Forgot about that."

"You forgot that you were possessed by Bill Cipher?" she asked.

"No, I forgot that you had cameras watching me that summer," Dipper said. "It's kind of creepy… but I don't mind!"

Xanthene was glowering at him. "First of all, I didn't make the show, I just watched it. Second, this was before I figured out that you were a real person, and not just a cartoon character. Third-"

"I'm sorry, and I didn't mean it as an insult!" Dipper said quickly.

Xanthene appeared slightly mollified. "Fine, I forgive you, Pines," she muttered.

Dipper smiled. "Well, that makes this a lot easier," he told her as the left the theater. "Do you want to do this again sometime? Say, next Tuesday? I can arrange for your school to have a day off."

"Anything to get put of school," she teased him, giving him a quick kiss. "Where are we going?"

"I was thinking, Vegas," Dipper teased right back. "Stan says it's pretty fun down there."

"Vegas sounds good to me," Xanthene whispered. "As long as we can cheat at the casinos."


End file.
